Couples Therapy
Are You And Your Partner Drifting Apart?
Do you feel like you're having the same arguments all the time?
Is separation or divorce something that's crossed your mind lately?
Are you finding it harder and harder to co-parent together?
Maybe your relationship isn’t what it used to be and it’s become harder for you to understand one another and the way you perceive the world. You both could be from two different cultures and blending each other’s values and traditions has become increasingly difficult.
Perhaps your marriage is at the point where feel stuck in constant conflict or find yourself avoiding issues altogether. You’re probably struggling to keep your emotions in check during arguments and feel frustrated that the relationship isn’t as fulfilling as it once was.
This isn’t the happily ever after you dreamed it would be. The truth is—nothing in life is perfect. Couples therapy, however, can help you address issues of communication and connection while giving you the space to heal, grow, and strengthen your bond.
Relationships Aren’t Always Sunshine And Rainbows
Relationships are hard—they require ongoing effort, compromise, and dedication. The love and bond you share with your partner is something truly special, but sometimes, deeper issues can get in the way of building and maintaining a healthy, happy relationship. Maybe you’re experiencing:
The feeling of walking on eggshells around each other
Constant stress and anxiety
Feeling misunderstood
Dissatisfaction with family life
Conflicts with in-laws/extended family members
I help couples uncover how they got stuck in their disconnection and show them that the issue isn't about one person being the "problem." With the support of a compassionate therapist, you’ll feel heard and validated while being guided toward rebuilding the foundation of a stronger, more meaningful connection.
All Couples Struggle At Some Point In Their Relationship
Do you have a sibling, parent, or partner? If that’s a yes, then you've had your fair share of relationship challenges. Every couple goes through it. Being human and being in love can be tough as hell, but it's also one of the most beautiful things we experience. We could all use therapy to help work through the rough patches and build something resilient and long-lasting.
Many couples believe that simply learning how to communicate differently will fix their problems, but that only addresses the surface issues. The real work lies in building core relationship skills—like empathy and vulnerability—so you can truly understand each other, recognize where the pain and hurt lie, and offer the care and support needed to heal and grow together. In couples therapy you will learn how to do just that.
There’s No Manual For Navigating Relationship Hurdles
Society doesn’t teach us how to regulate our emotions, handle conflict in a healthy way, or strategies to repair our relationships after a disagreement. Most of us didn’t grow up seeing our parents work through tough moments in a positive way.
We’re—especially Millennials and Gen X—also told by society to go to college, get married, have kids, and buy a house, but many people do all of this and still feel unsatisfied and overwhelmed. Society tells couples with kids to “enjoy it while they’re little,” but the reality is that many are drowning in responsibilities, feeling stressed, and struggling to keep their connection intact.
Generational differences in parenting styles only add to the tension. One partner may have a hard time understanding the other’s cultural values, leading to friction and misunderstanding.
Through counseling, I can help you understand that nothing is perfect, but you are doing your best. I help couples manage conflict in a way that doesn’t feel like their relationship is being damaged. You will feel less lonely, more understood, and experience real change in therapy.
Couples Therapy Creates A Space To Try Something Different
In marital counseling, we will not have the same fights you have at home.
Here is a space to try something new, to slow down, step back, and truly explore what’s underneath all the conflict, hurt, anger, and frustration. With me, you’ll have the opportunity to see and hear your partner in a way that’s hard to do at home. It’s a chance to break free from the same old arguments and start understanding each other on a deeper level.
The Escobedo Counseling Approach To Couples Therapy
In our couples therapy sessions, I draw from a variety of modalities to help you both grow and heal:
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)
At the heart of my approach is Emotionally Focused Therapy—because emotions are the key to understanding what’s really going on beneath the surface. We’ll dive deep into feelings, which are often our truest guides.
With emotionally focused therapy, I help couples realize that the love and passion they share are vital survival skills—connection, vulnerability, and safety are essential for both of us. We’ll explore the biological need for attachment and the neuroscience behind our "fight, flight, freeze" responses.
More importantly, I’ll guide you in learning how to understand your emotions, cope with them, and communicate them in a way that fosters insight, empathy, and connection. Conflict may trigger intense emotions, but together, we’ll decode those feelings to create healthier responses, learning how to express what’s truly beneath the surface and re-establish that deep connection you both long for.
Gottman Method
Alongside EFT, I also incorporate the Gottman Method into couples therapy. This practical, hands-on approach, provides couples with tangible tools and strategies for effective communication. "Hey, try saying it this way" or "This communication pattern works like this"—are the kinds of insights that offer couples immediate relief.
The Gottman approach is research-based and focuses on providing solutions to common relationship struggles, helping couples build a toolbox of skills they can use every day.
Narrative Therapy
We all carry stories about how life should be. Often, these stories can leave us feeling disappointed or stuck—especially when things aren’t unfolding the way we envisioned.
In narrative therapy, I help couples rewrite those stories, shifting the focus from "this isn’t how it was supposed to be" to "this is how we can make it different." You have the power to change the narrative of your relationship, and together, we’ll craft a new, more fulfilling chapter.
I help couples uncover their unique relationship "blueprint" and explore their history together. Think of me as your personal trainer for your relationship. I guide you through repair conversations, making sure both of you feel heard and validated. At the end of the day, couples therapy is one of the best decisions you can make for yourselves as a team—it’s all about fostering growth, harmony, and a relationship that truly fulfills both of you.
Perhaps You Are Considering Couples Therapy But Still Have Some Questions…
Will it take a long time for therapy to make a difference?
Couples therapy often requires a longer commitment than individual therapy, but the results are worth it. Many couples start noticing improvements and shifts in their relationship after just 20 sessions. For others, it may take up to a year or longer to fully dig into deeper issues and experience lasting healing. Every relationship is unique, and we’ll move at a pace that works best for you.
Will my therapist take sides with my partner?
It’s natural to worry about this when starting therapy, but I want to assure you that my role isn’t to take sides. I see the relationship as my client—not one person over the other. Both partners will be supported and understood equally. I often tell couples, "I’m here to coach you, not referee." Referees assume you’re on opposing teams, but my goal is to help you work together as a team, improving your communication and collaboration.
How much experience do you have? Will you truly understand our unique situation?t
While many therapists offer couples therapy, it takes a specific set of skills and knowledge to be truly effective in this work. Couples therapy is a whole different ballgame than individual therapy, and it’s important that a therapist has both specialized training and experience.
I received formal education in couples therapy during my 4-year graduate program and have continued to build on that knowledge through ongoing training and supervision. I am committed to understanding your unique situation and bringing the best tools to help you navigate your challenges together.
Together, You Can Nurture A Love That Flourishes And Deepens Over Time
If you and your partner are struggling with communication and connection and are considering divorce, or you just really want to get back to how things used to be, couples therapy at Escobedo Counseling can offer the support and guidance you need to navigate these challenges together.
I offer in-person and online counseling sessions designed to support couples on their journey back to finding “us”.
Contact me today to see how my approach to couples therapy can help your relationship bloom.
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